Being a parent isn’t something you can fully study for. Of course, you can read books and get advice from others you trust. But, in reality, most of parenting becomes on-the-job training as it plays out in real time.
One thing parents can hugely benefit from is jointly setting long-term parenting goals before a bunch of standards are set and important tactical parenting decisions are made. That’s the purpose of this article.
Mandatory
Most would agree that every parent is expected to provide an environment that best ensures their kids grow up healthy and in a safe environment.
The concept of “healthy” and how to best accomplish that is debatable. And “safe environment” leaves plenty of room to decide how actively or aggressively you provide that protection. But no parent wants their child to be seriously harmed or be so unhealthy as to lesson their quality of life or shorten their lifespan.
Self-Sufficiency
My wife and I decided early in our marriage that our most important responsibility as parents was preparing our children for the day when they left home and lived on their own. That meant things like the following:
- Readying them to make important decisions for themselves
- Knowing how to react in stressful or dangerous situations
- Effectively managing their own money
- Understanding what a healthy romantic relationship means
The parenting system, standards and tactical decisions that contribute to a self-sufficiency goal are very debatable. In fact, most of my other articles in this Parenting category describe various ideas and tools we used, in case any of them resonate you with you.
Bonus Round
Now that my girls are grown and raising families of their own, I have realized there are at least a couple of bonus round goals. I guess they could be more aspirations than goals. But it’s amazing, if achieved.
Your Kids Want to Hang Out With You
It’s amazing having adult conversations with your kids. Our girls genuinely like hanging out with us, not just during the obligatory holiday season. They even enjoy taking vacations together with us. Wow!
On Speed Dial for Important Stuff
One of the greatest rewards is being one of the first phone calls your adult child makes when they have important decisions to make. Not calling to have you make the decision for them, but rather serving as a sanity check or mentor on the issue/opportunity at hand. I especially gain satisfaction when one of my daughters has thought something through and wants to review her logic and planned next steps. Wow!
Using the Goals
Parents are regularly tested with new challenges and opportunities, as they relate to raising their child. At times when the best decision or action isn’t obvious, reflect back on your long-term parenting goals to see if they can help guide you.
Gordon Daugherty 